From Geek to Chic
by Elfie Dusk
Summary: Jack Green is a completely geek.But when he was in a Carribean cruise,the soul of Cutler Beckett seized him,everything changes.He also found out that Swann and Norrington are also on the board.Asylum is guaranteed.Review,please.
1. Chapter 1: A Holiday

From geek to chic

Chapter 1

A Holiday

Again Mrs. Green was persuading her husband to come out of the cabin.

"Dear, it's a cruise. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the water is warm. Why're sitting here and reading the same book once more? It's a Caribbean, we are here to have a rest. Soon the stop-off will be finished and you haven't swum yet."

Her husband, Jack, drawled lazily:

"Well, if it can make you stop gazing at handsome captain…By the way, this book is very interesting, and it says that many years ago there was a battle between pirates and East India Trading Company, exactly at this place. Ashley, don't be so narrow-minded, stop thinking only about sunbath and discotheque."

The woman pouted offendedly and went to the deck. "Ok, I'll please her. At least in her company I don't look like the worst geek." – The man put on terrible pink shirt, enormous sunglasses and followed his wife.

As always, sun was blinding, music was too loud, waitresses were too offhand, and everybody joked at his look. And that captain…"Brainless dummy! And he tries to flirt with my wife, nevertheless." – Jack even didn't notice that was saying it aloud.

"Sir, hold your tongue or I'll teach you a lesson despite your wife has a high opinion of me. Don't disgrace her and yourself." – Tall good-looking captain was pretty annoyed by Mr. Green's discontent. – "If you are not in a good mood, then don't spoil her rest."

That made Mr. Green see red. He gripped a sunshade and tried to strike insolent fellow, but slipped and fell overboard. Suddenly he went to the bottom: he could only see dark water behind his eyes and some strange luminescence that looked like a silhouette of a man. Jack tried to come up, but that ghost was drawing him in the bottom. He couldn't hold his breath longer and was just waiting for death. Before he lost consciousness, he heard man's voice:

"At last!"

Captain Richardson sighed hardly:

"Ma'am, excuse me, but your husband is an idiot. If I rushed to rescue him a few moments later, you would become a widow. And what's now? Passengers are frightened; they even don't want to be at the deck, not to mention sightseeing. But sure, your husband is happy – not only he is in a bad mood now."

Jack jumped out of bed. His eyes were shining madly.

"How do you dare to insult me, small insect? Who are you? King George or maybe a regent? Guards, arrest him!"

Captain looked at him agape.

"Oh, ma'am, he's…just a bit sick. Tomorrow it'll be…"

"Tomorrow you'll be hanged! And I, Lord Cutler Beckett, promise you it. "Endeavour" is founder, but I'm still the Chairman or EITC! I know this ship, it's "Almighty". Call the captain and I'll spare you."

Richardson went away without any words. Mrs. Green looked at her husband anxiously:

"Dear, are you all right? Who's Beckett? Is he your friend? Do you have a headache? Are you delirious?" – Questions were raining down. The man wanted to say something, but then he asked her softly:

"Swann? What are you doing here? And why do you wear man's clothes?" – He pointed at shirt and trousers. – "And why do I wear that pink floor-cloth? Where's my wig and uniform? Where's Mercer?"

"Don't worry, honey, just fall asleep." – whispered she, while Richardson came into the cabin and gave Jack (or Beckett?) an injection.

When Beckett woke up, it was broad afternoon. He couldn't find normal clothes, and turned upside down Ashley's suitcase. He took out of there white shawl, green silk dressing-gown, black tights, shorts and nice low-heeled shoes. He also found blond curly wig and gold necklace. Then he wanted to shave and went to the bathroom. There were strange levers in the sink and bath. He pulled one and stepped back in frighten: water was streaming out of it and hissing like a snake. He decided to shave later and put on those clothes he'd found. "Well, at least I don't look as dread as yesterday. It's time to have dinner, I think. Maybe Swann had ordered to serve before."

He came out to the deck. There Beckett saw couple of people in underwear eating and laughing indecently. He wanted to be outraged, but a fat man pointed at him and grinned:

"Utter fool! Yesterday he wanted to commit suicide, now he put on his wife's clothes. Hey, pervert, are you completely mad? Or have you lost your brains in the sea?" – The whole company roared with laughter. Beckett narrowed his eyes and whispered clearly:

"Fleshy pig, repeat what you've said." – And again, he seized long-suffering sunshade and began to fence in a centimeter from man's face.

"Stop that, idiot! You can put out my eye!"

"I'll better knock the nonsense out of your obtuse blockhead!" – Beckett was hitting accurately and ruthlessly. When two robust men tried to fasten his hands, he knocked them out easily, and they were lying helplessly. Nobody dared to stop Beckett; other passengers were looking at him in fright and mumbling:

"It can't be true. Is this weirdo a professional fencer?"

Beckett threw a glance at them and shouted with smugness:

"Who else wants? Who is silly enough to insult me? Nobody? Remember, commoners, I'm the only person who gives orders here. The Chairman of East India Trading Company, Lord Cutler Beckett. Clear, noodles?"


	2. Chapter 2: Ashley

Chapter 2

Ashley

** Thanks to everybody, who reviewed that story. For me it's really importaint. **

Beckett was eating rissoles greedily and tried to get used to new world. The last thing he remembered was crash and the words "It's just good business". "What happened later?" – He had some dim ideas, but it seems like his memory was carefully erasing them. But nevertheless, he's still a supreme person. And his orders will be not so global, for the first time. Few days will pass - and Port Royal should meet the Chairman. At that moment only one thing is disturbing him:

"Bring me a cup of "Earl Grey"! I'm not going to drink that urine you've brought! And where's my omelet?"

Waitress, who was head and shoulders above Beckett, shuddered and rushed to the kitchen. Everybody was gazing at the Chairman, while he smelled the tea and thoroughly poured it on the floor. But when Captain Richardson came to Beckett, they all made way. It seemed like they had anticipated another stir.

"Jack Green, I'm going to put you under arrest for a few days. Nobody will bear your escapades anymore. Mrs. Green, calm down, it's temporarily." – Ashley was crying and asking captain to leave her husband alone. People tried to encourage her; some impressionable women even began to sob hysterically. It could be an ideal soap opera plot, but there was one thing: Jack's soul was still in the body, though under Beckett's authority.

Jack Green doesn't get along with three things: arrest, unfaithfulness and pointless spending of money. And even Beckett's ambitions couldn't suppress his will.

"Captain, I know that I'm to blame. But you can't just arrest me! I did it all, because…" – Jack was an egoist, so he didn't care even about his wife – "Because my wife didn't agree to…well, to…"

"Green, you can't even say they word "fuck", not to mention doing it with your wife! Impotent!" - An impudent teen bawled, and burst out laughing because of his bravery. Others also found that his joke is funny.

Beckett hates when somebody dares to lower his dignity and power. He rose from the table and proclaimed:

"Stupid lad, turn on your fucking brains to make fucking you respect…"

"…Respect fucking nonentity? I can tell you the last "fuck" in our talk: fuck off, man!" – Beckett wanted to teach youth a lesson, but now he was held firmly by captain and his helper. Ashley asked helplessly:

"Can I be with him at least?"

Beckett was furious. The Chairman of EITC is arrested like a mean-spirited thief! And what is Swann doing here?

"Swann, I'm not going to execute you, just explain why we are here! Who's Jack Green, and why are there no memories about last two minutes before the arrest? Why are they all in underwear and rude with the most powerful person of the Caribbean?"

Ashley sighed:

"Dear, you are not well. I'm Ashley Green, your wife. We are having a rest, if it can be called "rest". Relax, everything is OK…"

"What is "OK"? And I'm a bachelor; at least it was so before the battle with pirates. Rest? Armada was defeated, and I'm having a rest? Swann, don't make up it all, you can't even lie normally. Who's that freak?" – He pointed at the mirror.

"Mmm, actually, it's you, sugar. Don't worry, I love you, nevertheless." – She murmured tenderly.

But Beckett was very puzzled, when he'd come closer and seen a man with green errant eyes, bushy eyebrows, very thin lips and black curly hair, which was disheveled unbelievably. "Well, I could be injured during the battle, but not crippled. Oh my God, even Mercer looks better. At least I have an aristocratic nose." – He was twisting and turning before the mirror, trying to get used to his new appearance. – "And why have I noticed it only now? Why was there no mirror in bathroom? Oh, no…" – Beckett flopped down on the bed and wanted to cry, but Ashley embraced him and whispered:

"We have a lot of time to spend together, don't we? So, let's do something indecent, honey." – It was difficult to resist such a sexy woman. It doesn't matter: either Swann or Ashley; but the last one is more compliant and simple: no uniform of a pirate, no stupid bravery and nobleness…

Jack has been waiting for too long. It's better to be arrested and be with wife than to be beaten. But this princeling is too presumptious! To seduce Ashley in front of him! It must be stopped immediately.

Beckett grinned and gave her a real kiss. If he has a chance to do it, then why must he refuse? Suddenly Jack pulled himself together.

"Dear, let's do it later. I'm not in mood now."

"Jack, tell me when you're in a good mood. And think a bit about me! I'm tired to fuss over you! I'm not your doll, which you can either use, or throw away! Why do I love you? Why am I married to such an egoist?" – Jack didn't know what to do and even how to resist, so Beckett gripped him easily.

"Dear, I'm sorry. The last two days were so difficult. Stop crying, my lovely girl, and calm down. I love you and didn't want to distress." - Eloquence was one of his greatest skills; politics had helped him with it. Ashley's heart was won.

Of course, he's not going to be Jack Green. But to spend few days of rest with his wife and sail in Port Royal with victory cry: "I'm alive!". Why not?


	3. Chapter 3: Family Tree

Chapter 3

Family Tree

Beckett yawned and got up slowly. It was hot night, but there's a saying "Nothing is eternal", so it was a moment when he must act, or everything will be lost: power, money, even this woman. First, a man always looks serious and respectable. Whatever he is, his look must be perfect.

Beckett has found a fashion magazine under the bed. Its cover was decorated with bright motto:" We do not disable your shortcomings, we enlarge your merits!". "Sound imposing. So, it's time to learn more about this crazy world."

How hundred of pages about virtual sex and some strange "pick-up" can concern to fashion – Beckett didn't care and read everything carefully. He turned over the page and saw photo session of two men, who were wearing strange clothes and called "gays". "Why is it so? I don't find them merry or funny. I feel that I should be careful with words, which have changed their meanings."

At last he found section of latest fashion. There were dark-grey jacket, white silk shirt and black narrow trousers, which fit firmly. Beckett couldn't understand if it was possible to wear such uncomfortable and tight in…well, in some particular parts of the body things. But ambitions must be more importaint than feelings. But where are there clothes in this unfamiliar room? "If there's a magazine, there must be a room of complete fop. Maybe captain's one? So let's pretend I gave an order to lend a costume."

As it has been expected, he has found everything in a large wardrobe. "Even a lady can envy such number of clothes! I had less wigs than he has ties! It is called now; let me remember…right, dandy or metrosexual. So, what do we have on that hanger?"

The most fashionable costume was there, but a little problem took place: it was for a man much taller than Beckett. He was rather puzzled and didn't know what to do. "But if…" – he got a brilliant idea. Maybe that geek can sew.

Jack was so angry and lost at the same time, when Beckett was massaging Ashley's neck tenderly. She looked at him sleepily, smiled and fell asleep again. But why was Beckett thinking about strange costume? "If trousers and sleeves were a bit shorter! Well, at least geek doesn't look sexy. I can do everything I want to do with his wife."

Jack didn't want to be taught sewing, but greed of money had made his to do it. Even the most worn-out socks are mend by him carefully, and threads are used with exceptional meanness. To get other's property for free and use it as you please? No problem! Threads, scissors and needles were always in his pocket.

An hour has passed – everything was ready. But there was strange piece of paper under the table. "Beckett is the rarest imbecile and the ugliest dwarf in England." – It is impossible to convey how difficult it was for Beckett to write such things about his beloved person, but he spared no pains to attain what he wanted. Of course, when Jack had read it, Beckett's soul got the power again.

Beckett rent the paper and then put on his new costume. "Mmm, I like it. But it's not enough to look great. My hair is like crow's nest." – He tried to arrange it, but it was useless – his hairstyle could be called "crash on macaroni factory". "Well, I'll deal with it later. Oh, it's dawn. I need to get out of this kennel. Sparrow did at least one good thing – taught me how to force a door using anything sharp." He opened the door and went out noiselessly.

On the way to his cabin Beckett heard somebody talking nearby. Could our brave Chairman pass by without eavesdropping?

"So, party will be held, right? I'm not sure if Ms. Crumplebottom likes it, especially after Green's…"

"James Richardson, you MUSTN'T even try to stop this party. And I don't care about anything. Your company has received rather big sum, though they hadn't told you before. Don't complain of Ms. Crumplebottom; all your wages till pension are less than price of her handkerchief."

"Then it must be a huge flag, not a handkerchief."

"Richardson, get sick of your work? I can arrange indefinite leave for you. My sister must have a good time here, understand?"

"Ok, Mr. Crumplebottom, let it be. I'll do my best."

Beckett grinned and hurried to his room. It was a chance for him to restore his reputation. "That old hag can't even pretend what will happen."

Party was at its height. Lots of delicacies, wine and of course, high society. Before the party Beckett had sleeked down his hair with fat. "Old method, but useful at anytime. A bit of perfume – yeah, I'm a chocolate-box; that Crumple-Rumple will be charmed." Also he locked captain's cabin, when Richardson had gone to check out "prisoners". Ashley stayed inside. "I don't need scene of jealousy in front of the passengers. And she'll exonerate me while talking to captain. Wife is an interesting invention, actually."

"Oh, are you a real Beckett? I heard that Lord Beckett had had no children."

"My dear Rosa-Melissa, of course he had! But you know love is a cruel thing. His wife was some poor French, though aristocrat. But why are we talking about me? You look great in this grey dress! How could I live and didn't know about you, my kitty?" – whispered Beckett and winced with loathing. "To pick-up 55 years old spinster with terrible name and tastes…It the first and last time I do it."

Mrs. Crumplebottom was so touched that she cried with admiration:

"Oh, Cutler! We are not quite alone! But it's love at first sight! Just tell me – yes or no?"

Jack was not going to bear it. He hated unfaithful people and didn't want to become the same one. But it was difficult to defeat Beckett.

"No, I'm not going to…"

"Don't hurt me, Cutler!"

"I'm not going to…be apart. I love you, honey, and will always…hate the day when we met." –Souls of Jack and Beckett were fighting furiously; Beckett – for influence, Jack – for devotion.

"You mean…"

"I mean what I mean…I hate the day because…I have always wanted to meet you, sweetie."

"Kiss me; I feel the same passion!"

"It's better to kiss a frog than…to refuse you. I don't want to be unfaithful…It's better to divorce first. I don't want to divorce…I'll change my name then. I love my wife…She's as cold as ice."

"My lover, just tell – yes or no. I'll be yours!"

Idyll was broken by Richardson and Ashley.

Elizabeth was always very jealous. Will is a captain of "Flying Dutchman" and decided to simplify life of his wife and future descendant: she has no jealousy, she has another soul - Elizabeth's one.

Ashley attacked Ms. Crumplebottom and tear wisp of her out. Beckett kicked his wife, and she fell on the floor. Richardson flung him so strong, that unlucky lover knocked his head against the wall.

"How could you even touch her, coward? I'll teach you a lesson!" – And noble savior sprawled near to the hero of the festivities.

Ashley stepped over broken flower-vase and leaned over them.

"DON'T DARE TO OFFEND MY HUSBAND!"

James moaned, but suddenly smiled happily and said silently:

"Elizabeth…My lovely warlike girl…It's such a painful and unbelievable thing at the same time…Your kick is as tender as your kiss."

"James? My brave commodore? Are you also here?"

Beckett looked at them surprised and preferred to lose consciousness than to understand that he has spent night with his worst enemy. Also, presence of Norrington looked like ghastly problems for him.


	4. Chapter 4: Five Souls and One Lunacy

Chapter 4

Five Souls and One Lunacy

Beckett opened his eyes and found himself chained with scotch to a chair. Ms. Crumplebottom was lying nearby. "So, here we are. If Swann and Norrington are not here, I think that's their handiwork. Now it's useless to scream, right?" – He tried to, but mouth was carefully stuck with that damned scotch. "Chairman of EITC mustn't sink so low as to moo like a pregnant cow. Let's wait for my charming wife and her insane admirer. "

He didn't have to wait for a long time. Grinding of key was heard and the company burst into the room. "It's better to pretend asleep or my life will be cut down greatly." – To be convincing, he even began to snore, though it was pretty unpleasant with scotchful mouth.

"Parasite! He has done his best to spoil everything and even dare to be fast asleep! What are we doing now? Running away to Singapore! James, it's not the best way to avoid justice!"

"Honey, we're not criminals. I told Mr. Crumplebottom that his sister wanted to have a world tour. Pretend, he even gave me rather large sum of money to maintain that overgrown woman."

"It's not tour, but tourne of roaming circus! And we can't even shake off these clowns! One of them is my greatest-great-grand-daughter's husband. Lord Beckett, pluralize. I have double mind also. I want you to decide: will you bear us one more time? I know that Beckett and I are a pain in neck to you. But please, only for a few…well, not days; months…even years in the last resort…"

"Elizabeth, I recognized you completely at last. As hundreds of years before, I'm with you till the end." – James said it with such inspiration, that even Beckett twitched and fell on the floor embracing chair. – "And even your mad "husband" won't stop me"

"There's a problem, actually. You know, Will is immortal. Before death I asked him to prolong my life and yours one…on condition that your memory will be erased. But there must be a ransom…"

"Liz, did you ask him to give a bribe to…heaven? My noble pirate, I know why I love you."

"James! Hell must make one soul to suffer forever, but on the Earth. They don't do it for free, so the price was rather expensive for its owner. First time Will was asked to present "Flying Dutchman". But the soul of anybody must suffer, and he gave them Beckett's collection of wigs. Three hundred sixty five wigs, for every day. All colours and styles. Devils were very happy. The soul was punished, and heaven agreed to give a birth to you one more time. After your death punished soul could even live in paradise. But even at the bottom of the sea Beckett was disturbed. So…"

"Bastards! I hate you all! Even in hell I can't have a rest! I deserve to suffer, but why have you given them my wigs?! Ah, tell your husband that I'll kill him in the afterlife." – Beckett had gnawed scotch and screamed wildly.

"Which husband? Mine or Ashley's one? Don't forget, you are talking not only to me." – Elizabeth couldn't help laughing. – "Cutler, don't be so nervous. Just look at yourself in the mirror – you won't be indifferent."

But James still looked rather puzzled and disappointed:

"Elizabeth, I understand that my memory is not erased. But what about my life in general? Beckett isn't serving a sentence, but lives like others…like me."

"Honey, I forgot to tell you…If your memory were erased, everything would be fine. But now…Beckett and you have a bond. While one of you is alive, so is another one. That's why he's still here; not because I spare that geek Green." – Lizzi forgot about Ashley…

"Geek? Granny, you can't say so! He's my husband, and I love him! Don't even dare to flirt with Richardson!"

"Norrington, actually."

"Sorry for interrupting, but she's MY wife. And she isn't allowed to flirt either with Richardson or Norrington." – At last Jack made his presence known.

"Remember your behavior the day before. Don't you know that woman?" – Elizabeth grinned and pointed at Crumplebottom, who had awakened and was gazing at them all in fright.

"I did it, not Jack. And thanks to it you all have money. Where's your gratitude? Or shall I be embracing this chair till the last judgement?"

"Sure, you will, sweetheart."

James looked at the whole company and sighed with tiredness. It turned out that he was the only reasonable person in this floating asylum. But Beckett couldn't calm down:

"Where're the tourists? Or Ms. Swann…sorry, Mrs. TURNER decided to feed sharks?"

"Mr. Beckett…"

"LORD Beckett, Norrington."

"Lord Beckett, it's none of your concern. Be silent – and maybe you'll be given freedom."

Elizabeth smiled and whispered in Norrington's ear:

"That's really interesting. Where're they?"

"I didn't know what to do and told them that the whole group had to stay in some city. I gave them money to live down my absence. But they wanted more, so…"

"Let me guess, you found guilty though guiltless? Isn't it Beckett, James?"

"Well" – Norrington blushed and began to scrutinize his toes – "He left me no choice after yesterday's events had taken place. And some of the passengers hate him even more than I. But don't tell him now; at least he has some time to find such enormous sum. I won't give him Crumplebottom's money."

Beckett yawned and asked helplessly:

"Are you going to release me at last?"


End file.
